August 16, 2009 Pastor Tim Pusey

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS:
THE TRUTH ABOUT LYING
Deuteronomy 5:20

The Ninth Commandment God gave to Moses to be passed down to the people was this:
Do not testify falsely against your neighbor (Deuteronomy 5:20).
In two words: Don’t lie! God is a God of truth—and He expects the same of His people. Just as the Third Commandment protects the name of God, so this commandment protects a person’s name or reputation. The immediate context of this command is in relation to giving testimony about someone in a court of law, but the principle calls for the sanctity of truth in all areas of life.

Bob Harris, a major TV network weatherman in New York, had to weather a public storm of his own making a few years ago. Though he had studied math, physics and geology at three colleges, he left school without a degree. With a strong desire to be a media weatherman, he phoned WCBS-TV introducing himself as a PhD in geophysics from Columbia University. The phony degree got him in the door and for ten years his career flourished as “Dr. Bob.” But eventually an anonymous tip prompted an inquiry and when the truth came out, Bob Harris’s career was more than turbulent!

In December 2001 George O’Leary was on top of the world, having just been named head football coach at the University of Notre Dame. It was the dream of a lifetime! Then two days later, the call came. A reporter had been trying to contact some of the guys who had played college football with O’Leary back at New Hampshire as he had claimed, but the strange thing was that nobody could remember anyone named George O’Leary. O’Leary reluctantly admitted that he hadn’t actually played football at New Hampshire. It was a small lie put on his resume 21 years before—but it was big enough to turn O’Leary’s dream into a nightmare and cost him his job and reputation.

Things were bad enough for Melvyn Reed of London when he had to go through triple bypass surgery last spring. But it went from bad to worse when all three of his wives showed up at the same time to visit him at the hospital, despite his frantic efforts to stagger their visits! Let’s just say that the recovery time took a bit longer than expected!

Let me tell you something this morning: God values truth! God hates lies! God values truth because truth sets us free. Lies destroy lives; truth opens the door for our lives to be all they were meant to be!

If lying is forbidden by the 9th Commandment, then telling the truth is what’s required. And every one of us knows that sometimes that’s hard to do! George Orwell said,
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
And if that is true, then we as Christians are called to be revolutionaries! How does that grab you?! In what Charles Colson calls a “Post-Truth Society,” we are called to be people of the truth.

The reason we’re called to be people of the truth is because we serve a truth-telling God. God the Father is true.
• The Bible tells us that Jesus, the Son of God “came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).
• Isaiah said about the Christ: “there was no deceit in his mouth” (Isaiah 53:9). In other words, Christ is truth personified.
• Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life” (John 14:6).
• At His trial before Pilate, Jesus said, “Everyone on the side of truth listens to me” (John 18:37).
• The Holy Spirit is also true—referred to in Scripture as “the Spirit of truth” (1 John 4:6).

And so, if God is true to us, that challenge is for us to be true to Him and also to one another—as well as to ourselves! We’re called to be people of truth—not lies!

So…when is a lie a lie? It’s whenever we speak that which is just not true. It’s when our words are insincere or empty. Would you like to hear a few examples?
• I’ll do it later.
• One size fits all.
• How am I? I’m fine.
• Leave your resume and we’ll keep it on file.
• I just need five minutes of your time.
• The check is in the mail.
• Let’s get together sometime.
• Boy, you haven’t changed a bit!
• How about the carefully-crafted response to reference checks: You’ll be lucky if you can get him to work for you!
• How about the all-too-often insincere: I’ll be praying for you.

A lifestyle of deception is far too common—and if we all grew noses like Pinocchio whenever we lied, we’d probably be bumping into noses everywhere we went! Some professions—like lawyers, salespersons, and politicians have a reputation for fostering deception—though this isn’t to say that every member of these professions is a liar! We greatly value lawyers and salespersons and politicians whom we can trust!

This may surprise you and even disturb you, but I sometimes wonder if Christians have cultivated an unreal kind of expectation that forces insincerity and pretenses rather than authenticity. Some of the most stressful moments we had when our kids were little was getting everyone all dressed for church and ready to go out the door at the same time—and to be on time at that! All too often the ride to church included scoldings…but when we’d walk through the doors of the church we somehow knew that we had to put on our smiling faces and act as if everything was marvelous that morning—especially if you happened to be the pastor or the pastor’s family!

One of the greatest stresses upon pastors and parsonage families is the expectation of being super-Christians—and at least acting as if you’ve got everything “put together” even when you don’t! People often seem to expect that of pastors and their families. And the deception of perfection is less than honest and real. We sure don’t want to let anyone know that we struggle with temptation and conflicts or that our children have real struggles too!

But then, couldn’t such a pretense be said of many in the church throughout the years? It may on the surface look more “holy,” but I think we’re beginning to understand that this isn’t what holiness is all about! Frankly, I think the world is much more drawn to people who are authentic—real and honest about themselves, recognizing their need for God’s help and growth and healing. Funny thing…even if we don’t admit it, others can generally see that we don’t have it all put together anyway! And the truth is that our perfect little facades are dishonest.

Human nature tries to normalize lying—and even make it a virtuous thing. Many would consider lying preferable if the truth might hurt someone’s feelings. I was intrigued how often that idea crept up in the interviews on the video we saw a few moments ago. Little lies whitewashed as “white lies” are supposedly told to protect another person’s feelings. But the problem with “white lies” is that those who think it’s okay to tell white lies soon become color blind. Truth and lies seem to blur together. And many people can’t even tell the difference between truth and lies!

A noted physician on a network news and talk show proclaimed a few years ago:
Lying is an important part of social life, and children who are unable to do it are children who may have developmental problems.
Isn’t that a sad perspective on honesty! What a crock!

My daughter Krista took an interpersonal communications class one summer at a community college. The professor gave them an assignment relating to the students’ habits of lying. I believe the topic was something like, “One thing you’d feel okay lying about.” Krista—who was studying to be a nurse—was challenged by fellow students because she said she wouldn’t lie to people in a crisis to minimize the reality of their condition. She explained that even professionally she wouldn’t be allowed to do that—but they felt it somehow inhumane for a nurse to give an honest answer to someone who was suffering severe injuries and asking about the extent of those injuries. Of course, you’d give hope where you could and you’d offer care and comfort—and yet the class was outraged that Krista wouldn’t be willing to lie and offer false hope.

Please understand that I’m not suggesting we be mean and cruel in proclaiming truth to everyone! Tact and kindness are still virtuous—and so needed. Keeping the 9th Commandment does not mean saying whatever comes to mind. There are many situations in life when it is better to say nothing at all. What the 9th Commandment calls for is telling the truth—when called upon—and doing it in a loving way. The Apostle Paul noted that when God’s people are living and acting as a united fellowship, and we’re mature in our faith and trust in Christ, that we will “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Sometimes we blame truth for someone being hurt but what’s really missing in the equation is the love.

Let’s go back to the big issue again. What’s wrong with lying? Lying destroys trust—which is an essential ingredient in every relationship! Deceit fractures relationships! Again I found it interesting in the video interviews that people would acknowledge lying themselves but it made them mad when others lied to them. Why? Because they felt they could no longer trust such persons.

The German atheistic philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche even said, “What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you” (Friedrich Nietzsche). As humans, we understand that trust is a desirable thing; as followers of Christ, we understand that trust is indeed sacred.

I have often told couples in pre-marital counseling to guard the trust in their relationship—because once that trust is broken, it is incredibly hard to repair it. And yet lying breaks down trust! Lying is disastrous for relationships! Teens, when you lie to your parents, you sabotage the trust you want from them. And the truth is that it only takes one lie for trust to be destroyed. If you’ll lie to me once, you’ll lie to me a hundred times.

And God cares so much about us that He wants you and me to enjoy encouraging and strengthening relationships with other people. We need these relationships in life! We need our family and we need our friends! These relationships are such tremendous blessings in our lives! They are so much an aspect of the “abundant life” Christ promised to those who follow Him! They are so necessary in order for each of us to be healthy emotionally and to be genuinely “whole.” We were not made to live life in isolation from others. We need other people in our lives—and we need healthy relationships with them…honest, trusting relationships that are open and even vulnerable, relationships with others with whom we can let down our guards and be real.

I’m learning that I can only have such a relationship with someone else if I’m first of all honest with myself. When I “get real” with myself it breaks down the barriers that keep others outside the beautiful façade built so carefully around me to make me look pretty good—or at least I convince myself of that—but our facades are absolutely artificial! The 9th Commandment calls for honesty in every corner of our lives.

And honesty with myself and with others is the only solid foundation for such healthy relationships. It’s only when we get real about ourselves that we are in a position to truly bond with others. But listen to me again: Lying destroys all of that!

There are many different ways to lie. There are “big lies” and “little lies”—great deceptions as opposed to half-truths and flatteries and fibs. With half-truths, what we are saying might even be true, but we leave out the details that might put us at a disadvantage. Or we say something that is technically true, but is nevertheless intended to deceive. We might overstate our accomplishments, putting ourselves in the best light. At the same time we might exaggerate the failings of others, thinking and speaking the worst about them. We lie when we mislead, misquote or misinterpret. It’s a terrible thing to twist people’s words, taking things out of context. And whenever we do this, we are exchanging the truth for a lie.

Lies often harm others in the process—and almost always, ultimately anyway, we do harm others in the end. Lying has done so much to destroy people and their reputations throughout the ages. Our mouths get us in so much trouble and can do so much harm to others! The Apostle James spoke of animals that can be tamed, but about the human tongue he said—
No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison (James 3:6).
And the Apostle Paul warned against slander and malice, discord and dissension also.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done as a pastor is confront a lady who was perceived by many—including herself—to be a pillar in the church but who had worked so hard to damage my reputation and my character by misquoting and misinterpreting me, misleading others about my motivations. She had done the same to every other pastor before me. My words were twisted and taken out of context—and passed around widely! Her words were not true. They were constantly deceptive—and I was the brunt of her subtle though insidious attacks. There came a time to confront her with her deceptions—and I did it as boldly yet as kindly as I possibly could. I know personally how much lying hurts others and how it hinders a sense of community when only one person is propagating half-truths. By the way—when people are telling you such things, you have a responsibility to kindly but firmly shut them down.

Lying destroys others. It steals their reputation and their good name. One of the sugarcoated words for lying is gossip—and if we’re not careful, we can excuse it away as okay.

I’m told of three preachers who were out on a boat far from land. Their conversation became open and honest, as one confessed a secret problem with alcohol. Another began to talk about his battle with lust. They finally turned to the third preacher and asked if there was anything he was battling. He said, “Yea, I really have a problem with gossip, and I’ve got to tell you that I can’t wait to get back to shore and tell what I’ve just heard!”

May we never forget the destruction that happens when we allow ourselves to get caught up in gossip! God expects better from us! The gossip tells things that don’t need to be told, often at the expense of someone else’s reputation. And trying to undo the damage done by gossip is like trying to gather up the feathers of a feather pillow ripped open in the wind.

As I suggested earlier, it’s always hazardous to lie to ourselves, too. Many of you can relate to my battle with the recorded tape somewhere inside of me that proclaims far too often that I’m not worth much and that what I’m doing isn’t significant. Maybe your tape tells you that God can’t forgive the sin you’ve committed. Maybe your tape tells you that you’re second-rate, that God doesn’t care as much about you as He cares about others. Perhaps your tape proclaims guilt and worthlessness about something for which you had no responsibility at all. Those are all lies, aren’t they? And they destroy us within—and our Heavenly Father longs for us to break free from those lies! The Psalmist declared, “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts”—or as the New Living Translation puts it, “You desire honesty from the heart” (Psalm 51:6, NLT).

On one hand, we must deal honestly with our weaknesses and short-comings and need for growth. But on the other hand, our Heavenly Father does not want us to wallow in the mire and muck of sin already forgiven, uncertain of His unconditional love and doubting the worth of someone He created! God found us so worthy of His love that He sent His Son to die for us—so we could discover the abundant life and be in fellowship with Him forever! God has made us all wonderfully unique—with special ways we each can make a difference in the lives of others.

You see, this God-given guideline for truth is for our protection—because our Heavenly Father loves us! Can you rejoice in that today? We should! Jesus said that “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Doesn’t that sound good to you—to be set free from a life of deception and lies!—to embrace a life of integrity and honesty! Wow! Being “set free” sure sounds marvelous to me!

So…what’s the truth about you? What lies have you been telling? How have you hurt others by your half-truths? Do people struggle to trust you because they cannot believe everything you say? What are the lies you tell yourself? What are the lies you try to sell to others? How have you lied to your spouse this week? How might you have twisted the truth to make yourself look good to others this week?

And how are you going to live in the week ahead? What kind of person are you going to be?

Something wonderful happens when we’re willing to confess the real truth about ourselves. That’s when we’re able to see the real truth about Jesus and what He has done for our salvation. It’s only when we tell the truth about our own lives that we are able to see how much we need a Savior—the Savior who proclaimed, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free!” (John 8:32). How I long for each of us to be people of truth—whom the Spirit of God truly sets free to enjoy life at its best! That’s what I long for each of you!