April 26, 2009 - Pastor Tim

DEALING WITH THE STING OF BETRAYAL

Luke 22:1-6, 21-23, 47-48

 

[Begin with the video of Charlie Brown and Lucy]

(The scene begins with Charlie Brown and Lucy and the football. Lucy promises that, for once, she won’t swipe the ball away at the last moment, and Charlie’s gullible heart swells with confidence: “This time I’m gonna kick that football clear to the moon!” He barrels toward it, and she, of course, swipes the ball away at the last moment, and he tumbles through the air with a cry before crashing his head on the earth.) Poor Charlie Brown…betrayed once again by ol’ Lucy!

This morning we’re continuing in a series I’ve called, “Looking at the Cross through Resurrection Eyes”—digging into the significance of the Cross from a Post-Resurrection perspective. And, as you may have noted in our bulletin, my sermon for this morning is entitled, “Dealing with the Sting of Betrayal.” And, as our friend Charlie Brown could tell us: Being betrayed hurts…sometimes the hurt goes deep.

As you might guess, we’re looking at Judas’ role in the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ, for Judas, one of the 12 disciples, was the one who betrayed Jesus. But, honestly, it’s not Judas I want us to ultimately focus on—it’s Jesus. And perhaps the question before us is this: What can we learn from Christ to help us when we feel betrayed by others?

Turn with me in your Bibles and let’s read from Luke’s Gospel, chapter 22—

[Read Luke 22:1-6, 21-23, 47-48, NIV]

So, what does betrayal look like? How does it feel? Let’s start with Judas. Judas is the great question mark in history. Books have been written about him—trying to get a handle on who he was and why he did what he did.

Some have said that we’re so intrigued with Judas because we’re a lot like him. Some try to put Judas in the best possible light—saying he was loyal to Jesus, but in his concern that things weren’t moving fast enough, he wanted to force Jesus into revealing His power. Some have said that Judas thought he understood more about the world and the kingdom than Jesus did. In some sense, if that were right, it would remind us of Genesis 3 and the first sin of humanity—Adam and Eve disobeyed in an attempt to be as wise as God. Too many of us think we know better than God does—and some say that was Judas’ problem.

Others are convinced that Judas knew exactly what he was doing. They’d say that all we can do is judge Judas by his actions—though we prefer to be judged by our intentions. (Try that the next time a cop pulls you over for speeding—“I didn’t mean to do it!”) But apparently Judas is guilty. He’s a traitor. He was the betrayer.

Imagine the scene—this circle of men reclining, as was the custom, as they shared a meal. They’ve all been together for three years. It has been an incredible experience for all of them. Jesus had shared His kingdom with them—His presence and His power. Now, in the bread and in the cup, he gives them His body and His very blood. He gave Himself unreservedly to all twelve, including Judas.

They were sharing the Passover meal. You see, traditionally, the Passover is celebrated with one’s family. It commemorates the angel of death passing over the children of Israel while slaying the first-born in every Egyptian household. Jesus chose to celebrate the Passover with the group that had become family to Him—those twelve men with whom he had shared His life and ministry for so long. And to this special family, He said, “But here at this table, sitting among us as a friend, is the man who will betray me.” The betrayal by one so loved was especially devastating.

What does betrayal look like in our corner of the world today? Ask a woman whose husband left her for another woman and she’ll give you a clear definition of betrayal—but it won’t be with a smile on her face! I remember in my college years reconnecting with a family I had known well years before—a family from the church my dad had pastored when I was in elementary school. Theirs was a home I had spent a lot of time during those years. The dad, Dave, after multiple affairs across the years, finally left his family and married a woman the age of his oldest daughter. Then he proceeded to build a house next door to his family for him and his new wife to live in! When we visited with the wife and kids, they were all seething with the anger of having been betrayed!

We can feel betrayed by our spouse, our children, our extended family, or our friends. We can also experience betrayal in the context of our work—from our boss, our co-workers, or even our employees. I hate to mention this, but I’m also aware that there have been times when people have felt betrayed by their church. I think there’s a sense in which we can feel we’ve been betrayed by our politicians, by our “system,” and, perhaps more recently, by our banks and our other financial institutions. When the vast amount of your retirement fund has been washed down the toilet in an economy out of control, there’s a tendency to want to blame someone! It wasn’t supposed to be this way! We trusted those in authority over us! Betrayal was why there was so much outrage over the AIG corporate execs receiving billions of dollars in tax-payers’ financial bailout funds and then going ahead and apportioning millions of dollars in bonuses for themselves!

And let me clarify something here. We may feel betrayed by others even when we may not, in reality, have been betrayed by them. We may feel betrayed even in instances when others may genuinely feel they have not betrayed us. I recall a time when I felt betrayed by someone who worked for me—who also would have said he felt betrayed by me. While I did everything I could to avoid the person feeling that way about me, I will likely never be able to change their feelings about the matter. I also recall a situation where I very much felt betrayed by someone who had promised to stand by me in something—though the person contended later that they did nothing wrong by me. My point is that, in this matter of betrayal, our perception is our reality. Whether we’ve been betrayed or not isn’t likely the point—we’re going to have to come to grips with our response—to our feelings—of betrayal regardless of what the intentions of others were in reality.

Betrayal is when our presumptive understanding of trust or confidence in someone has been violated or broken. We thought we could trust someone—and we couldn’t! They let us down—and it suddenly changes everything in our relationship. We might think of the person or the organization as a traitor—and that’s what we feel they are!

Being betrayed carries with it tremendous emotional impact. Generally speaking, the greater the trust that you had placed in the other person, the greater will be the emotional impact upon you if you feel betrayed by them. And I don’t know that we can ignore our emotions at this point—we’ve got to own up to them and deal with them. We’ve got to be realistic about our emotions, and yet we can’t afford to “stay parked” on unhealthy emotions. With God’s help, we’ve got to work our way through them without allowing them to destroy us from within—and they will, if we let them! They can work like a cancer within us. The emotion most felt with betrayal is anger, though there may also be an accompanying fear of loss of the relationship and repulsion at the lack of integrity of the other person.

One of the other side-effects of betrayal is that it’s harder to trust again. And it not only makes it harder to trust that particular person or organization again, but our lack of trust is likely to carry over to others as well—who don’t deserve our prejudice of mistrust! The man whose wife left him for another man may conclude he could never trust another woman again! The person who felt “abused” by their church may feel they can never trust another church again!

Betrayal is such a personal thing—because it’s a violation of a relationship! There are those who have concluded that betrayal can only happen if you love—and there are those who, once betrayed, promise they’ll never love again and keep everyone at arm’s length. Because the reaction to betrayal can be so intense, it can almost destroy hope in our lives. The playwright Tennessee Williams concluded, “We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.” One of our early leaders in American democracy, William Penn, warned, “Only trust thyself, and another shall not betray thee.”

But I must tell you that I’d find that a terrible way to live! How can we ever build healthy, loving relationships with others if we refuse to trust! Perhaps a good question to ask ourselves is this: How would Jesus respond to the betrayal we’ve experienced? This leads to the question I put before you earlier: What can we learn from Christ to help us when we feel betrayed by others?

Shall we explore how it must have felt for Jesus to be betrayed by one who was so close to Him? If we look closely at Luke 22, we find that just before Judas arrived in the Garden of Gethsemane with those ready to arrest Jesus, Jesus was praying intensely through the long hours into the night. The disciples kept falling asleep on Him, indicating that it was getting later and later, encroaching into the hours during which they were normally asleep. But Jesus couldn’t sleep that night—and was a bit frustrated that His disciples couldn’t seem to stay awake in support of Him.

Jesus was overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings that night. We can only imagine what He was going through. And among the myriad of feelings, I’m guessing that there was anguish over Judas’ betrayal of Him. Surely Jesus felt anger when Judas barged into this solemn setting, leading the group of those pursuing Jesus—and the audacity of Judas to identify Jesus to them by the greeting customary between valued friends in their culture—a kiss! Can you imagine how Jesus felt when He said, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

I believe it’s important for us to embrace the reality that Jesus knows what it’s like for you and me to experience betrayal. And if we can accept that, then it’s valid for us to try to take our cues from what Jesus did and from what we believe He would have done.

I’ve been pondering a question this week that I invite you to ponder with me: If Judas had not taken his own life that night, would Jesus have restored Judas to fellowship just as He did with Peter—presuming that Judas was willing? Would Jesus have sought out Judas personally after the Resurrection just as He did Peter—who had denied Him three times—and as He did with Thomas—who doubted the reality of Christ’s Resurrection? Would Jesus have been as redemptive with Judas had Judas given Jesus a chance?

Think with me for a moment of the Last Supper scene itself. Luke tells us—

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” (Luke 22:19-20)

Judas was among those gathered around that table. Was Jesus giving His own body up for even Judas? Was it for Judas that Christ poured out His blood? That’s what Jesus said to them! The new covenant in Christ’s blood carried with it the assurance of forgiveness. We are, as the old song indicated, “covered by the blood.” His sacrificial death paid the penalty for our sins and provided for a new covenant, a new relationship, with our Heavenly Father. So would Jesus have extended that opportunity to Judas, too, if Judas had given Jesus a chance?—if he hadn’t, in his despair, tragically taken his own life after Jesus was arrested?

When Jesus told His disciples that one of them would betray, He also said, “but woe to that man who betrays him” (vs 22). Was Jesus declaring a curse upon Judas? I don’t believe so. I believe Jesus was stating with a broken heart the terrible consequences Judas would bring on himself in the act of betrayal.

You see, it would have been absolutely inconsistent with Jesus’ character for Him not to have forgiven Judas—again, if Judas had given Jesus a chance to do so. If Jesus hadn’t done so, it would have violated His own commands. Do you remember what Jesus had declared in the Sermon on the Mount and various other times during His ministry?—

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:44)

Jesus taught us to pray,

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors”…for it you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:12, 14-15)

There’s a wonderful story about the cardinal of the Philippines, named, oddly enough, Cardinal Sin. When Cardinal Sin was a bishop, a young woman in his parish claimed that she had visions of Jesus. Bishop Sin was given the task of determining if these visions were authentic. He called her in for an interview, after which he made this request: “Daughter, the next time you see Jesus, would you ask Him what sin your bishop committed as a young priest and then come and tell me His answer.” She agreed. The bishop, aware that nobody knew his sin except himself, his confessor, and Jesus, felt this would be a valid test. Months later the young woman returned, reporting she had seen Jesus again. The bishop said, “Good. Did you ask Him about my sin?” She said, “Yes,” “What did He say?” “He said, ‘I’ve forgotten.’”

Would it have been any different for Judas? Of course not! I refuse to believe otherwise! Judas’ betrayal did not cause Christ to love him less. It was for sinners like Judas that He was about to give His life!

So, how are we to respond to those who betray us? Our calling and God’s command of us is to forgive those who sin against us—and is there any better description of betrayal? We must let go of our hurts and wounds, and refuse to nurse them in anger and resentment. Chances are, the deepest betrayals will demand an ongoing commitment to forgiveness—for, in our humanness, we often find it difficult to let go of such things all at once. Resentment and bitterness has a way of continuing to raise its ugly head, continually trying to draw us into its trap once again. My own experience is that it’s a day-by-day process, an ongoing entrusting to the Lord of our feelings and the situations with a refusal to give in to bitterness. The Lord knows that our hurts will consume us and destroy us, if we let them—and He is our greatest ally in our determination to let go of such wounds.

One way in which we’re helped in this process is to dare to remember the ways in which we, in our sin, have betrayed Christ ourselves. We might also remind ourselves of the ways in which we have surely left others feeling betrayed. We dare not be too smug in refusing to forgive those we feel have betrayed us. And in seeing all of this through Resurrection eyes, the disciples of Jesus were all too aware of their own guilt of jealousy, selfish ambitions, denial and defection from Christ. They were surely humbled in acknowledging their own failures—just as we might also be as we commit to resolving our own responses to those who have betrayed us.

So, how are we to deal with the sting of betrayal? As sons and daughters of the Heavenly Father, we are called to respond with forgiveness. Because our sins have also been forgiven, we are called to be part of God’s redemptive work in the lives of others. With the help of the Lord, we can learn to let go of our feelings of bitterness and resentment, trusting such things into the hands of the Lord. We can move on with our lives, set free from that which would destroy us from within. And, with the help of the Lord, we can learn to trust again, though perhaps more wisely and more discriminately. And as we do, we focus our energies in pouring out our lives for the sake of others, just as Jesus did. It’s the way not only to blessing others, but also the way to be truly blessed ourselves.